Oh Josie, You've Done it Again.

Just my life, typed onto a computer screen, and published for the viewing pleasure of others. Feel free to leave advice, and share your thoughts.

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The feeling is fake, but the meaning is real.
2005/11/11,02:26

I've been thinkin.
Maybe I analyze things to much.
Maybe I try to manipulate every situation,
to control it so much,
That I forget to actually live.

Like this thing with John.
I think about it so much it drives me nuts.
For those of you who have been fallowing the story,
You know what I'm talking about.
So what would happen if I just let things be?

What do you think? Is that a good idea?
I mean, why can't I just let things be the way they are,
And see where end up.
Without sacraficing my moral values of course.
I'm not daying I'm going to sleep with the guy,
But I'm going to let it be what it is,
Instead of having this all or nothing attitude.

Tonight at his house, singing kareoke in his room,
Lying with him on his bed,
When he was just holding me, keeping me warm,
I realized that all I wanted was to be right there forever.
And weather its right or wrong,
weather or not, this is gonna end up in a heartache,
Is it so bad that at least for that moment,
I felt safe?

I havn't felt that safe since I was in the 3rd grade.
Before my moms husband came into the scene.
Tonight I felt like even that man could not hurt me.
I would give anything to have that feeling again,
Even if its not real.


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